just to say sorry

i'm sorry that i'm like this, i'm sorry that i'm sad.
i'm sorry that i can't be normal.. i guess it's kinda bad.
i'm sorry that i love you and just can't live without.
i'm sorry that i ruined your life with all my doubts.

i guess i really hate him and apparantly that's bad.
but honestly, he makes me very, very sad.
so please consider this as an apologetic cry.
if i continue to live this way i might as well die.

one thing that is worse than my whole entire life,
is that this letter, if you read it, will cut your heart like a knife.

so i guess this is my secret poem,
only because i'm very lonesome.

just one final word i really wish to say:
please just keep on assuming that i am perfectly okay.

empty

right now i feel empty.
i don't know why.
but i feel empty.

so i'm writing.
i'm writing knowing that it won't help,
but it's good to try.

so here i am writing with emptiness.

why do i feel like this?
i feel lost in a sea of people.
i don't know which way to turn.

so i just guess and hope for the best.

someone can change you

lets say you meet someone... and they change your world.
You didn't care about life before... and then you meet them.

They're so amazing that they change your look at life.

So what happened?

they put a charm on you,
a charm that even your own feeling couldn't overcome.
and they'll either stay by your side,
or take your soul away.

So be careful when losing your feeling for love.

messed up

i'm messed up

no one gets it.

no one,

and i mean that.

i cry more than anyone knows.

i get nervous over stupid little things.

i'm like a baby that needs her mother.

a lot.

i hate him more that anything.

anything.

i wish she would help me through this.

opportunities

opportunities haunt me in life.
which road do i take?
what's my next move?
i have time, enough time to figure this all out.
but still. there it is that empty choice right infront of me.
confused, alone, and non-decided.
i'm not decided.

a young and wise brunette boy once said "we're here in a yellow truck a road ahead of us and nothing but opportunities."

i know what that means. i understand. for once, i get it.

when he said it, it was literal. but metaphorically...
think. think. think.
think about it.

the road you are on is the road you'll be on for the rest of your life.
you decide when turns come. you decide.
you make the turns. weather good or bad.
those turns are yours to keep and think about for the rest of your life.

so make them count.

sometimes people pretend

People can pretend. They pretend to be something they're not. They pretend to be better than you. They pretend they don't care, or care too muh. Why? Because they're insecure. Think about it: They pretend they're better than you because they're intimidated. Stand up. Stand up for yourself. Don't pretend. Be yourself. Stop friends from pretending, or changing. Stand up.

except me.♥

if you can't except me than maybe you should just go . maybe you shouldn't hang out with me. maybe we should never have met. maybe, just maybe, you might want to try to come through as a friend. when i need you, you weren't there. nice job. you crushed my life.